Clarity
by LadyCizzle
Summary: Steve thanks Catherine Episode Coda 3.18 slight McDanno.


**Summary: I know, two fics in two days and it's an episode coda. I know, I'm supposed to be doing my homework but this fic has gnawing at my brain since Monday's night episode. For those of you who don't know I hate Doris. Nothing against Catherine but I seriously hate the fact that she lied to Steve for Doris, made me hate Doris even more. And since I am a slash girl my muse has been viciously beating me up to finish this. She's evil. So here I am posting again because she made me. Now go and read. Enjoy.  
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**Disclaimer: Of course I own this show and I have the paperwork to prove it. Oh, wait, that's my homework assignment. Damn.**

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**Author's Note: Slight spoilers for episode 3.18 and not beta'd by anyone other than me so all mistakes are mine. If you find one, ignore it because more than likely it won't be changed. **

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**Clarity**

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She stands there and lets Steve hold her in his arms, hugging him as tightly as she could. For Catherine the hug is about forgiveness and moving on. She doesn't realize that while the gesture is the same for Steve the meaning is completely different.

"Thank you," he whispers as he finally pulls out of the hug and stares Catherine in the eyes.

Catherine looks at him confused for a second and silently waits for him to continue. He does.

"Thank you for making this so much easier for me," concludes Steve and he lets go of her completely both in a physical and emotional sense. For months now he's been at war with himself, battling feelings for both Catherine and Danny and not knowing what to do about them. Now he does.

She waits for him to say more, to explain exactly what he means but the look of clarity in his eyes makes her realize exactly what he means. "Wait...no...I said I was sorry. I thought you were here to forgive me."

"I am and I do forgive you Cath but it doesn't change the fact that you lied to me. That after everything we've been through together you betrayed my trust for a woman you barely know. A woman I barely know."

"She's your mother. She was trying to protect you," she tries to explain but Steve immediately cuts her off.

"No, she was trying to cover her ass," he hisses bitterly in response, taking a step back. "Like always. That's why she faked her death years ago and that's why she's lying to me now, for herself. I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore, not with her and not with you," Steve finishes shaking his head.

"I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping the truth from you," Catherine says honestly but she knows that deep down Steve won't – will never see it that way. To him she's just another in a long line that betrayed him and that in itself is unforgivable.

"Well it wasn't," Steve replies sadly, turning his attention to the ocean and watching the waves crash against the shore. "Maybe it for the best," he says after a few moments of pure silence. "You helped me see what has been front of me this whole time."

She let out a snort. "Really, what's that?"

"That I need someone in my life that I can trust completely. That no matter what I can depend on them to always be honest with me and not lie to me because they deem it necessary. A person who will treat like the adult I am and give me with the respect I deserve. After everything I've been through I think I've earned that right."

"So because I made one mistake I'm no longer qualified to be that person."

"Yes damn it because you know me," he can't help but yell, anger dripping from his voice. "You knew how I felt when I found out that my dad had been lying to me about my mother's death. Joe, Jenna, Pat, Nick, not to mention my mother, all lied to me and you knew how their betrayal made me feel. I never thought a day would come where I would have to add your name to that list but here we are."

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just trying to help."

"And you did, just not in the way you think. Your lie helped me realized that I do have someone in my life who would never done what you did, no matter the reason, and I'm in love with them."

"It's Danny isn't it?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

Steve shrugs. "Don't know." he answers truthfully as he turns towards the ocean once more. "Maybe since North Korea, perhaps before, I'm not really sure."

"That long and you never said anything," Catherine hisses slightly upset that she's been with Steve this long and he never said anything to her.

"I didn't know exactly what my feelings meant at the time or if I would even act on them. Not to mention I didn't want to hurt you, not after we've known each other for so long."

"But you wanted to act on your feelings didn't you?"

"After a while yes, but I wasn't sure if he felt the same way and the opportunity to ask never came up," he states as he thinks about all the bad shit he and his team has been through the last few months.

"Steve-"

But he interrupts her almost immediately. "The point is that since the day I came back to this island my life has became this big clusterfuck and Danny's been there every step of the way. I trust him with everything, including my life."

"I love you Steve," she tries one finally time, hoping he would hear the sincerity in her voice and listen to reason. Catherine wants to make it work more than anything and if given the chance she would prove it.

"I love you too, I'm just not in love with you."

Gasping, Catherine pulls at her bottom lip with her teeth and turns away from him. For the first time in a long time she doesn't know what to say to make it all okay. The seconds pass silently until she turns back to look at him. "I want you to be happy."

"As long as I have Danny in my life I will be," he says softly as he leans forward and places a chaste kiss on her forehead. It's over for them, Steve sees that now and he's okay with it all. It's time for him to live his own life, create his own happiness, and he will start by telling Danny the truth. He just hopes that the feelings are mutual.

"They are," Catherine replies, breaking Steve out of his thoughts. She's known him long enough to read the expressions on his face and she can tell that he's worried but he shouldn't be. "I've seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. He loves you too."

"That's good to know," he grins happily. Without warning, he grabs Catherine and pulls her into a hug. It's one of friendship and maybe even a little gratitude. After a few moments he pulls away, smiling slightly. "I should go," he says.

Catherine nods in agreement, biting her lip again. "You should." She watches as he turns around and walks down the beach away from her. A part of her wishes that he would turn around, give an acknowledgement that he feels guilty for what he has just done but he doesn't. Instead he disappears from sight and it's more than enough for her to conclude that it's over.

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Steve waits until he is in his car before he pulls out his phone and presses 1 on his speed-dial. The call is answered almost immediately.

_"Yes Steven,"_ answers Danny, his voice light and singsongy. It makes Steve smile.

"Hey Danno, you busy?"

_"Nope. Why, what's up? We got a case?"_

"No, nothing like that. I was just wondering if I could come over."

_"Yeah sure. Any particular reason?"_

"I need to talk to you about some things...things I need to finally get off my chest," he replies softly and smiles when he hears a hitch in Danny's breath as if the blond has figured out what he really means.

_"Oh...okay...yeah,"_ stutters Danny into the phone as he struggles to find the right words to say. _"Are you sure about this McGarrett because...this, this is crossing a line we can't come back from and I need you to be sure?"_

Steve doesn't hesitate to respond. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life," he replies sternly.

It's enough for Danny._ "Alright then come over. I'll be waiting."_

"I'll see you ten."

_"Speed limit Steven,"_ Danny can't help but growl at his partner.

"Fine fifteen," Steve laughs playfully as he disconnects the call and drives towards his happiness. It's time he embraced it.

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So, what did you think. Was it worth writing. Should I fire my muse. Tell me what you think in the form of a review. Thanks for reading and until next time,

I ain't got nothing

LadyC


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